Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy 4th...

Today is the Fourth of July. I would bet this is my oldest son's favorite holiday. He LOVES, LOVES, LOVES fireworks. So much that he sent money to his dad to buy fireworks so his little brother wouldn't be "deprived" of the excitement. When Timmy was a little boy he and his dad would "sneak" off to spend some ridiculous amount of money on fireworks. Then they would put on quite the show. I had to put my mom nerves aside and let them be. This was very tough for me. Over the years, it just became part of the holiday. I don't know that we ever actually celebrated the 4th of July thinking about the freedom it represented. I don't know if I actually even ever discussed it with my son. Sure, we covered history in school. He knew about the Declaration of Independence. I just don't think on the day of lots of food, fun and fireworks - did I ever once mention our country's freedom. Strange how that is, huh?

Last night, Tim pulled up a video for the song Bad Boys that is the theme for the Cops TV show. I guess my nephews were making a video and had titled it Bad Boys. That got him thinking about the song and he pulled it up. Sebastian was dancing around like a fool. I started to cry. Yep - that's a surprise - me crying. Tim asked what was wrong. I asked him he remembered Timmy dancing around like a fool to that song. He thought for a moment and then he did. Sebastian has the same dancing ability that Timmy used to have. It is the "I am going to kick the crap out of somebody" dance routine. Crazy!

I miss my son. I never, ever thought that there would be a 4th of July that he would be on the other side of the world fighting for the very FREEDOM the 4th of July represents. I never thought that I could miss him so much that my heart just hurts. I am so proud of him. We are all proud of him. Tim is going to take Sebastian and Savannah out in a little while to buy fireworks with that money Timmy sent. Then tonight, Sebastian is going to try to get right up there and light them. We are going to have to tell him 5000 times that he is not allowed to be that close. He will argue with us. He will tell us he is BIG and CAN DO IT. He will squeal as the fireworks light off into the air. He will jump around with excitement. And I will put my mom feelings aside and let him enjoy his night. I will tell him that his brother is a STRONG and PROUD SOLDIER in the US ARMY. I will tell him that he is serving his country and making sure that freedom remains intact. I won't forget to tell him about freedom and let him think it is just about burgers, swimming and fireworks. We will pray for all of of soldiers that keep us safe. God bless them and their families.